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Dammit im back >_< omg work sucks T_T
Well as off the morning of Saturday April 09, 2006
I am found Fatherless.

I awoke to my sister screaming and calling the Paramedics, and I stumbled out of my bed to rush into my parents room to see my dad, my father, and my best friend cold and pale. I lifted his heavy muscular body to the floor and began to give him CPR as it was too late and he had already passed.

I didnt think that it would be this soon but somewhere in the back of my head I knew it. His heart had just...stopped. He has had a heart condition for 2 years now, what if he was supposed to go then? I dont know what I would have done. I know now that I am greatful for having such a loving father. I was blessed to be his best friend.

This is the day that I will never forget. I havent eaten much since then either. I broke my promise that I would stop drinking soda as it helps with my blood sugar levels.

I want to thank everyone who has help and still is helping me through this, I am also blessed to have such sweet and caring friends during this time. I wish for all to stay safe and to take care of one another...Best wishes and on.

Hmm....well the only present I realy got today was from my friend Ryu was sweet hearts..a Classic XD

but...I wish I really could have gotten something from other fwiends..o wells right? ^^;..

happy Val Day everyone *hugs*
my stpid computer had to get a virus >.>...I wont be able to be on the internet AT ALL except at school until I get it fixed u_u sorreh
its YoYo's birfday! :iconhalloyoyo: yeeeeeey so go wish her a happy birfday okies?
rawrwarawrwarawrawrwarawrawrawrawrwawr!~ *bite*

my christmas present to you >.>.....X3
I tried this test my friend gave me XD see see?…
there! its fixed link

yey for me ^_^
rawrawrawrarwrawrrawrrarwrwa~! Its Free food day!!

Today is this girls birthday!! :iconfullmetalunderwear:
Go see her she is awesome Possum! X3 and the most sweetest person you will ever meet ^_^ *waves* lurves you!!

All I have to say is KumoriCon was hella fun ^_^..
lets see..things I did..

1-Play as Arnold Schwatzenegger in the "Dating Game"
2-Found a Shino and Hinata to hang out with ((Hinata was Perfectly Perfect in every aspect of Hinata ^_^))
3-Ran after a Zabuza in only a miniskirt instead of his pants through a Romanian Christian Conferance innthe differant part of the Con as Kiba with other Ninja's yelling "He stole my money!" and obtained 5$ out of the 20$ given to the group who did it ^_^
4-Yelled at Hinata to win the Cosplay ((She did ^_^ ))
5-Posed for Millions of pictures on all fours some with Zabuza standing ontop of me and some with me ontop of him doing the splits ^_^
6-Got randomly glomped by the same Faye Valentine 50 was a face paint smudging hand and a Kiss that was actually amazing o.o ((sorry Love u_u..)) so I guess one of my first real kisses was with one of my favorite anime Characters ^_^
7-Made a sign that said "Glomp me!! I'm Fuzzy ^_^" and got glomped millions and millions of times..and got almost crushed when Vash the Stampede Glomped and lifted me off the ground then I claimed I wanted His babies and he said everyone does and winked and ran off ><
8-I got humped at a rave by Zabuza Kakashi and Alucard and I think I only Humped Zabuza and Alucard back ><;..
9-I also danced with the Hinata and found out she was ticklish then when others found out I was ticklish pounced me and the security guard had to pull off people from my corpse...damn the pople I didnt know ><;..I then Waltzed with Hinata-Chan ^^
10-I did my Karate Blackbelt form against Zabuza's Blackbelt Tae Kwan Do form in a breakdance circle they made ^_^ then he did the splits and I jumped on his sholders and humped his head ><;..

I did so many things that could question my Sexuality there @_@ was fun though ^_^..Vash was awesome...

And finally I passed out on a couch and my friends said I slept for 3 hours with ninja's and samurai around me..people also took pictures..

This con was the greatest yet. Due to the fact I danced with men and got glomped by both men and women cause I was fuzzy..I even glomped a statue o.o;...I did flips off of trees and jumped off of branches for pictures and PUKED TWICE!...I placed 4th out of the 50 in the Naruto Gaming tournament playing as Kiba ^_^ and came home so sore I couldnt move the next morning..

Yay!..I must get more pics up!
I haven't done a journal in a while >< uh....*POKE!*o.o
-Drawing- anything..
-Mood- Does Scared Shitless Count?
-Music- Devil May Cry
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Eh hehehe...>< IM really nurvous..I cant think straight..Im shaking..I can barely type this...phew ><;..

SO and my buddy tate have been seeing things..I cant really describe it...uhm...if you really want to know I guess note me or IM me when Im on or e-mail..heck I wouldnt minded if you called.. I really need someone to talk to, I feel like I cant go t anyone..everyone gets off line at 12 midnight, its like a ritual, that im never apart of ><;. just....I ope theres someone out there whos up u_u. its so hard to explain it T_T

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-Taste The Blood-

The flames in your eyes calls your bluff.
Feel free to drown when you've had enough.
Useless cause is breaking your back.
Your life will end when you attack.

Come make your move, come make your stand!
Make the win -- like you can!
See the war, see me rule.
See the mirror, you'll see a fool!

To take me out you must fight like a man.
(To take me out you must fight like a man!)

You've failed to prove that you can.
(You need to prove it that you can!)

See you mighty compares to something.
(See you mighty compares to something!)

That is, something is nothing
(That is, something is nothing)

Time to figure, time to sin.
You're times done when you begin.
Live for suffer, live for revenge.
Now your life comes to an end.
Taste the blood! Taste your fate!
Swallow your pride, with your hate!
The last breath, your last dance.
The last will fall, where your command.

Tasting the blood with your crying.
Please swim in your sorrow... Bathe in the fear!
Clear the mind of righteousness suffered,
Witness the moment of failures prosper!
-Drawing- Random Creepyness
-Mood- iffy <.<...
-Music- Collide-Some Kind of Strange
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Well...I am feeling Substantially better than last time I entered a Journal.. I promised a long time ago to Tak that I would get her a Ryuuku picture for her and I finally drew one and like drawing him so much I did a facial profile thingy......thing...*nods* well Im out of it anyway..  yesterday I slept 19 hours o.o;..I went to sleep at midnight and slept till 7:30 in the evening.. I feel like a vamp ^TT^  

I guess that kinda explains why im up at 5:30 writing this ^^; o well.. i got a CD of Collide from my buddy the other day(finally T_T ) and ive been listening to it to get me to sleep..and by god has it worked ><;...I still havent got the Choldren of Bodom YoYo T_T I dont know if it got lost int the mail or sorry if it did ><;

One question though...why do people of both sexes plan on steeling my first kisses when Ive never had a damn girlfriend yet!? ><;...fuckers..randomly Im deck by one chick ...then the next im being slobbered over by a guy...I feel like puking u_u..bleh

well im going to go do....something.....and stuf....I need more comments on my journals people!!! coment.............dots......<.<.....^^

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i calibrate you
could get lost
along the way
i confiscate you
while i find the meaning
i feel i could not escape you
i feel i could not escape you
euphoria ….
close to euphoria
i could get lost
come closing in
what i am
like a pin that pricks you
and perforates you further
your simulations
could get lost along the way
i could get lost
come closing in
evaporating what i am
feel some kind of strange
open the doorway
love will find you
would you wait forever
love will find you
would you wait forever
come closing in
what i am
feel some kind of strange
-Mood- ......
- Rammstein - Vampire
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I seriously have no fucking Idea whats going on with me right now... I cant think straigh, and I cant even type straight its taking me forever to corect this fuck of a post. i just want to keel over and die, anything could feel better than what I feel like right now.

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Everybody Laughing...

Nichts ist für dich
Nichts war für dich
Nichts bleibt für dich
Keiner braucht dich
Ha ha ha ha

Jeder lacht
Jeder lacht - ja
Jeder lacht
über dich

Keiner erträgt dich
und niemand braucht dich
Keiner braucht dich
doch jeder braucht mich
Ha ha ha ha

Jeder lacht
Jeder lacht - ja
Jeder lacht
über dich

Nothing is for you
Nothing was for you
Nothing remains for you
Nobody needs you
Ha ha ha ha

Everyone is laughing
Everyone is laughing - yeah
Everyone is laughing
at you

Nobody stands you
and no one needs you
Nobody needs you
but everyone needs me
Ha ha ha ha

Everyone is laughing
Everyone is laughing - yeah
Everyone is laughing
at you
-Mood- HAHA!!
- Children of Bodom - Follow the Reaper
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HAHA!! 300 Page views! Huggles all around!!

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Children of Decadence

Running under cover of the moonlight
shadow death row. At the night we're
running wild with no hope for tomorrow...
No tomorrow!!!

As we're walking through the fire,
that burns within us all. If ya wanna take
a glance to the blaze of pain, you'll never
be the same.

You wanna get closer and get a taste
of death? I know ya wanna fuck me down
til' I'm bleeding red. I couldn't care less,
I'll end up rotting in mud, so c'mon mothafucka
and gimme yer best shot.

You really thought you'd see through what
I am and what I need, we are children of
rebellion, we'll fight, we'll bleed.
Don't try to come to preach over us and
over me, we're children of decadence, we're
right, we're real, we will fight, we'll bleed,
we're mothafucking dying breed, we're dying...

All wrecked and fucked I wonder if this is the way
I'm supposed to go. But that is all I ever got, that
is all I'll ever get, so I just let it go..
-Mood- boreds ><;
-Music- Children of Bodom - Follow the Reaper
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bleh...I only gots one more week to go till School ends...><; I found out I have only slightly few credits to make up over the summer but it sux cause I cant go to Cali anymores. That means I cant see my brother...bleh my life sux right now.. I cant get a job cause it will interfere with my school blah blah blah and right now I just want to go emo on someone and sit in a corner and cry. but im not I wont.....>.>....Fuckin Kangaroo's..

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Follow The Reaper

Loosing the war I'm feining to win
though I never tried to to strive deep
from within. Life could be beautiful
for anybody it's for, but I'd swear this
mothafuckin' shit is rotten to the core.

The portal has been past and it's
time to make a turn, to follow the reaper
until the point of no return.

When your blindly death-raying blade
sweeps the griefs and fears away.
I cross my heart and hope to die thy freedom
will be mine.

Sinking down in the ocean of severe emotions.
Grab a bottle to drink up the pain-reliefing potion.
But after all, that got boring too, so no matter
what happens, I couldn't give a damn or too.

The portal has been past 'til the
point of no return. No more lines to cross,
no bridges to burn.

Now when your blindly death-raying blade
swept my griefs and tears away. I'd never go back
to cross that line.
I cross my heart and hope to die.
(( I think Ill Change my Format...LIKE TAK'S! Kukukuku!!))

-Mood- Dont ask...
-Music- Children Of Bodom-Hellion
I talked to YoYo today (CLICKY! ) She's a sweetheart ..she really cheered me up after what happened last night...  Tak was also there for me (CLICKY HERE TOO! ) I mean....I had the knife in hand, pressed up against my skin then I heard the IM ((really annoying noise>< )) and it was Tak. I talked to her and she calmed me down ><; I guess you could say she my knight.....ess in shining armour....ess ><;; or something

Thanks you two. You really Helped ...

((This is the song that my pants reminded myself of ^^))


Hell-hound, hot leather on your legs
That smokin powder keg
You're riding on is hell-bound
And you're the one they claim
It's going down in flames
You're riding Hades' rails (Hellion)

Hellion - The devil's Hellion child
Hellion - Will never have to die

Well child, you're sweatin' and you're stoned
That alcohol you downed
Makes you crazy - All night, you damn the hurt and pain
And drink the devils rain
It's screaming out your name

The Gods you worship are steel
At the altar of rock 'n' roll you kneel
A slave who forever rocks
Is chained in the devil's locks
And slain by the bloody axe I wail
Yeah...I did about absolutley nothing on teh B-Day ><; I only got one present then again it was my freind ^^; I gots XBoX Live and like...that is expensive for a birthday present >< and his B-Day is in two weeks....makes me wonder how much his will cost o.o;

Well besides being a loser and doing nothing...I did go to Wonderland ( Arcade ^^ ) and played DDR by myself! Woot!.....yeah....>.>....yeah im still a loser ><;
As much as I hate it, I love it...cause you get stuff ^^

I command you all to make Deviants for meh!! :fuzzydemon: ......yeah...or ish good too>.>...

Kukukukuku!! yeah..I think Ill end u sitting at home after classes and doing nothing...that is if no one calls ><; me peoples!!
Hey uhm...yeah....these are some pics of me at sakuracon ^^ Ill put up some deviants laters o.o;;………………